Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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