I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
