Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
