Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
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Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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