What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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