you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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