He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
