Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
