Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
