Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
