Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize