if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
