from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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