I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
