What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
