she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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