Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
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You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
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WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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