last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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