I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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