He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
