In the future we'll all be gay
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
