Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
