Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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