In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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