absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The feeling are messing with the penis
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
