Where is the hickey?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
