Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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