I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
