i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize