if i can run in heels then i can drive
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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