i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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