i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
