I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
