I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
