I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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