We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
