Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
