Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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