found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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