You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
