Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't think brook has ever known best
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
