I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
