69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
