Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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