there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
