If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
