I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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