Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
