NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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