It's Friday. Sex?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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