So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
