why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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