singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
