Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
