physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize