You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You can't just leave with hair like that
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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