We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
try to milk me bitch
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
